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Life

Remembering A Speech By Obama

Now that his presidency is drawing to a close, I’m reminded of a speech Obama gave in 2008…

Obama delivered an empassioned speech tonight. I teared up a couple times. It wasn’t just what he said. It wasn’t just how he said it. It was the knowing in my heart that this was history in the making. This is the best man for the job. This is the right man at the right time, and that can only mean trouble.

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Life

How Do You Heal A Secretly Dysfunctional Family?

The most deadly kinds of disease and dysfunction are the ones that go unnoticed or undiagnosed. What might have been relatively easy to fix becomes infinitely more difficult over time, assuming it is salvageable at all.

Enter my family. Luckily, this blog is anonymous, so you don’t know my family and they have no reason to feel exposed should they come across this post.

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Life

Looks Like I’m Second Guessing All The Things

Maybe it’s a mood swing. Maybe it’s the comedown from caffeine. Maybe it’s the fact that my wife and I aren’t getting along. Whatever the case, I am second guessing everything. From career to blogs to the way I approach money.

I’m not happy. That’s no secret. I have been pushing myself mentally for months now to assume the mentality of an overachiever. I’ve been positioning myself to accomplish certain financial goals. And somewhere along the line, I became dependent upon my strategies for success to make me feel better as a person.

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Faith

Rebuilding a Fragile Faith

I spent my entire 20s complaining about the lack of community at my church. I grew up at that church. From the age of 9 to age 29, I went to the same church. And I never connected solidly to a group of people except for a brief two year period from 19-21. During that time, I was a part of a home group for college aged guys, and that was decent (I mostly enjoyed it).

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Faith

What I See When I Think Of God

On a night like this… a Friday, when I don’t have anywhere to be the next morning… I look out into the dark sky, at all the stars, and I try to imagine God. I don’t think he looks at all sinister like Eternity from Marvel Comics, this is the best graphic image I can think of to describe how I see God.

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Family

To My Wife On Her Birthday

As I take a moment to think on you, I am overcome with the raw and powerful urge to protect you. You are my precious one. The one whose love and nurture I covet most.

Your passion to overcome astonishes me. I am both amazed and concerned by the level of dedication you put into overcoming obstacles. At times I wonder why I lack such a drive. Other times, I wonder if you should be able to relinquish control more often to preserve your sanity.

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Family

What Hopefully Makes Me A Good Husband

Watching the movie, Breach, I realized that I do some things right that other husbands don’t. We all fight and argue… that’s a given. But what isn’t given is how we handle the aftermath. What shocks me is that there are men out there who will yell and say all sorts of hurtful things and then walk away and leave the mess. Maybe it’s just a momentary flare up. Maybe it’s cold and calculated avoidance. Whatever the case, I see men treat their wives with indifference.

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Life

The Transition From Poetic to Professional

As our anniversary looms, memories flood back to me of a time when my wife described how her feelings for me had evolved since college. Hearing her version of how I have changed since we met in 2000 reminded me of how frantically I clung to some version of a poetic lifestyle. I was entirely opposed to the stiff professional mindset of corporate America. I had no intention on focusing on money and acquiring lots of “things”.

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Faith

What’s The Difference Between Preaching And Teaching?

One of these days, I will look back at me today and wonder at my current state of confusion. Especially since we moved to this new church, some lifelong questions are beginning to be answered. I’ve never attended a charismatic church where the pastor actually knew how to teach. Most charismatic pastors/preachers are well-intentioned motivational speakers.

I decided not to rail against preaching in this post, although that was my intention. A quick lexicon check tells me that there are multiple Greek words used for “preach”, and that “preaching the Gospel” is a common phrase in Scripture. I had thought previously that the word “preach” might be a contemporary term.

Categories
Family

How I Ruined Father’s Day

I’ve had a moment of clarity regarding “family”. It all began when I ruined Father’s Day for my whole family. My mom started sharing her feelings about a pastor I care deeply about and I snapped at her. Several members of the family continued to talk about flaws in the church, and needless to say I snapped at everyone. I had a legitimate reason for being angry: I hate hearing people judge my church leaders when they don’t know the whole situation. But my response was so laced with bitterness that the rest of the day was overshadowed by uncomfortable silence. This Father’s Day was for me what some people call the gift of trouble.